The Washington Post today published a nice blow job of a piece on so-called millennial news sites like .Mic, Fusion, and the hilariously named “Ozy.com,” and how these angel-invested content theme parks are capturing the minds of socially interested young ones (are they? they’re not).
Fusion’s new editor in chief, Alexis Madrigal, 33, offers a more expansive variation on that theme: “What ties our audience together isn’t a particular demographic affiliation, but an interest in equality, social justice, and the idea of an America that isn’t dominated by old white men. . . . Our audience doesn’t care if a bunch of old people want the world to go back to the 1950s. We’ll be happy living in a more free, more equal future.”
Fusion’s readers, Madrigal says, are “suspicious of the institutions that our parents and grandparents built, which are mostly failing us anyway.”
Sure. I hate my grandpa, too. Just kidding, he’s dead, and he was fine when he was alive, although he always liked to whisper in my ear: “Leah, the 1950s... they were amazing... when I am dead please bring them back... also raw hamburger meat is good for you.”
The Post’s Paul Farhi, a fine man, could not seem to find any women to interview for this article on the future of news, which is weird because there are a lot of female journalists working in news today, last time I went to the gynecologist. Maybe they are not working at these cool “millennial” sites, though, which appear to be just for men like:
- Jake Horowitz, 27, Mic’s co-founder and editor in chief, who told Farhi that “young people look at the world ‘very, very differently’ than older generations and are hungry for a newer style of news.”
- Carlos Watson, founder and chief executive of Ozy.com, no age given, “We’re doing original, global reporting on both serious and fun stories.”
- And, of course, Mr. Madrigal: “We’re the same as all other people, aside from having to launch our lives and careers at a time when our country’s 20th-century physical, financial, and educational infrastructure is buckling from lack of care and maintenance. But you don’t hear the old-timers complaining about us mention that very often.”
These are the words of some thirsty-ass motherfuckers who don’t really give a shit about “journalism” or “social justice” but clearly love being quoted in the Washington Post, a paper of their corrupt pop-pops. Don’t worry, the world is crumbling and the Fusion troops will save us. Imagine the movie San Andreas but instead of the Rock, Alexis Madrigal. Sheee-it.
The real question is: Why do millennials need their own news sites? They can’t read the big-kid papers? Are the fonts too small? Not enough Rihanna content? They don’t understand a news article if it doesn’t have the word “fleek” in it? Give me a break. The New York Times is written at an eighth-grade reading level. It’s dumb enough for everyone.
Contact the author of this post at firstname.lastname@example.org. I do not give advice